"Please visit....but don't stay!"

You Know You're From Oregon When...

Your town has an annual chalk art festival planned for a day it's supposed to rain, people still show up, it starts to rain heavily, causing any chalk put on the sidewalk to float away. Very few care, and even fewer decide to bail.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You don’t think it’s strange that cars actually stop for you as you cross the street.

You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.

You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.

Every day is casual Friday.

You know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.

You know that Boring is a town and not just a state of mind.

You know the entire Columbia Sportswear product line... and own all of it.

You never go camping without waterproof matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices.

You take the old scenic highway through the gorge because you're never in too much of a hurry.

You replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals when the weather gets above 60 degrees.

You believe people who use umbrellas are wimps or Californians, or both.

You know happy cows don’t come from California, and that Tillamook cheese is the shit.

You have no recognizable professional sports team, and can't name one anywhere else nearby.

You know the Civil War is better than the Apple Cup.

You think we should have a turf war with California and steal the redwoods.

You think the Oregon Trail was the most important event in American history.

You have ever skipped class because the salmon were running.

You would rather work or go outside than watch TV.

You wear a rain jacket on the beach.

You know that all the best illegal fireworks are lit off in small coast towns.

You recycle your beer cans (PBR!) after a long night of partying. And spend the recycled money on another long night of partying.

You know the difference between a drizzle, sprinkle, and a heavy mist.

Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.

You were ever in the Homecoming parade.

You had senior skip day.

Explaining where you live involves mentioning how far you are away from Portland.
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Other Friends: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.

Oregon Friends: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
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Other friends: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

Oregon Friends: Would be sitting next to you saying, “Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!"
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Other Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

Oregon Friends: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
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WHY OUR STATE ROCKS OUR SOCKS:

Portland is the City of Roses.

The Rose Festival includes the largest of all floral parades in the country. (except apparently Pasadena, CA, but whatev, we don't care about them)

Portland has more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the country.... and more bookstores. So, as the famous Mr. Dage said, "We are the smartest of the horny."

We can drink any city/state under the table. We have more microbreweries per capita than Germany!

We have more ghost towns than any other state

We don't have to pump our own gas.

Three words: no sales tax.

Rogue Ale Brewery, Full Sail, Pelican Brewery, Widmer, Deschutes Brewery and so much more!

We can hit the club, drink at a friend's house, go to the beach, and go skiing all in one weekend, year round.

We have the country's leading clean-air mass transit system for all those who care about breathing...

All of you played the Oregon Trail computer game and drowned your oxen on purpose... and you know it.

We take snow days whenever because it's always snowing on Mt. Hood.

We have Crater Lake, America's deepest lake and Hells Canyon, the deepest river-carved canyon in North America.

Every time you see one of the Trail Blazers not on the basketball court, they are high.

We clam bake, hot box, and smoke out, not up.

We get off school for one inch of snow (in the valley).

Our crab is better than Maine's lobster.

We have the best Shakespeare Festival in the world.

Home of Dark Horse Comics...second biggest comic book chain behind Marvel.

Oregon is the only state with a double-sided state flag.

Oregon has one of the most regimented and well organized recycling programs in the nation.

We were the first state to ban CFCs, require a bottle deposit, and draw urban growth boundaries.

Unofficial State Motto: "Please visit....but don't stay!"