why music loves me
my mind can think of loads of fun stuff to write. my words usually don't follow. almost like my mind and my hand can not get along.
my first love, my first true love is music. music keeps me safe, reminds me of good times and sad times. there is so much beauty in the world with music on. the breeze seems cooler. the sun seems warmer. old friends. memories. my mom. who died in 2004. music makes me excited. makes me feel alive. it will always be there in my life. when it's on i don't feel as alone. and it's not just the noise, it's the emotion. music was a staple in my childhood. if i close my eyes i can still see my moms hair blowing out her vw bug. i remember being almost embarrassed, she was so free spirited and i was so nervous someone would see her singing along. being... happy? free? enjoying her life. she lived in the moment.
will my kids remember dancing with their parents in the tiny kitchen while it's snowing outside? the moment almost perfect? will they remember driving down the highway, hot summer day, windows rolled all the way down, warm air blowing, hair flying, mama happy. i play all kinds of different music for my kids and i think of the impact it is making on them. all the different types loud pixies. soft cat stevens, dolly parton?
i can hear the kids now yelling "ring of fire!" will they remember their daddy singing anything that gets stuck in his head over and over for hours and hours? one verse. for weeks. and their mama giggling? will it continue? or will they finally tell us to SHUT UP! turn the music off. "mama, you're embarrassing me."
